perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize