and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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