let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
