i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
