a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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