I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
