She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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