Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
