Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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