It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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