she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
