I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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