some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
how does that bad decision feel?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
