I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
