im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
