Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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