Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
