Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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