That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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