did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
