I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
