ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
