This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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