I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
