He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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