Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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