Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
