operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
