I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize