Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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