sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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