If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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