I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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