I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize