Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
