dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
