Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just come out here and I will go home with you...
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
