Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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