question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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