you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
two words...techno handjob
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
