I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
