we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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