mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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