They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize