what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
