i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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