I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Best friends brother. Beat that.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
