and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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