People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
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You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
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I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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