We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
