Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
