I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize