I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
