it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
