chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
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Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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