His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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