Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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