I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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