i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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