I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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