Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
