he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
