Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think people are normalizing furries
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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