Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
How external is "for external use only"?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
