Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
