Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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