he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
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